Working Mom Balance
Success doesn't have to mean choosing between your career and your family.
Here’s How.
In this episode, Rebecca Olson explores how motherhood often changes the way women define success. Before having children, many women focus primarily on career growth, achievement, and financial stability. Once children enter the picture, success expands to include being present for family, caring for relationships, and protecting personal well-being. This shift can create tension, especially when it feels impossible to succeed in every role at once.
Rebecca encourages working moms to step away from society's expectations and create their own definition of success. Rather than measuring success by productivity or accomplishments alone, she believes success comes from making decisions that align with your values, priorities, and current season of life. By embracing the freedom to choose your path and defining what "enough" looks like, you can build a life that feels more balanced, intentional, and fulfilling.
HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1️⃣ Success evolves after motherhood.
2️⃣ Values should guide your decisions.
3️⃣ Defining "enough" creates more peace and balance.
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“The foundation of future success is how well you feel as a child.”
Guest Appearing in this Episode
About Rebecca Olson
Rebecca Olson is a work-life balance coach who helps ambitious women create lives and careers that align with their values, goals, and priorities. Through coaching, speaking, and leadership development, she empowers working moms to redefine success, reduce overwhelm, and build sustainable balance without sacrificing their ambitions. Learn more at Rebecca Olson Coaching.
Full Transcript
Tia Graham (00:02.252)
Hi Rebecca, welcome to the Feel Good Club.
Rebecca Olson (00:06.231)
Thank you for having me, Tia. So excited to be here.
Tia Graham (00:08.462)
Aw I'm so excited that you're here. And then we got to meet in person. And I'm looking forward to to learning from you and and hearing your approach to being a working mom. And I love how you write about you don't need to choose, right? Because so many people. Yeah. too. Me too.
Rebecca Olson (00:26.147)
Yeah, yeah, I really I really do believe that. It's it's such a you know, there's so much cultural influence that puts pressure on us, really both directions, you know, to I and if it's really actually fascinating to think about this from a historical perspective and how the working mom kind of persona developed, because it was really only like 50 years ago. Like we're not we're really not talking about all that long ago.
And where we have come to now is amazing. And yet we still have a long way to go to help women to, yeah, to end that push and pull. So I'm all about it.
Tia Graham (01:04.416)
my gosh. Yes. I mean, there wasn't very long ago where we couldn't like get our own credit card, right? We think like, we think, but it's like, no, this is so, so new. And I'm that's such a such a good place to start. And I was actually talking to one of my friends who's the founder of the World Happiness Summit. And we were talking about Mom Guilt, working Mom Guilt. She has two older boys, and she was like, it's from the patriarchy. And I was like, all right, we're going right there. Let's talk about it.
Rebecca Olson (01:09.327)
Totally.
Rebecca Olson (01:30.579)
Mm-hmm.
Tia Graham (01:34.091)
So so from your experience and your perspective and research and all the work that you've done, what do you think is the first step? If there is a working mom who is feeling that pull from both those roles, right? The professional role and the and the mom role. And b either of these can be full-time, right? Both, you know.
Rebecca Olson (02:02.157)
Yeah. Yeah.
Tia Graham (02:04.908)
And they're feeling like this tug and this like unease and anxiety, in my case, so much mom guilt, you know, especially when I have my corporate job. Where where do people start when they're not feeling the ease and the like, I just wanna say like that, they're not feeling okay.
Rebecca Olson (02:21.486)
Uh-huh.
Rebecca Olson (02:24.879)
Yeah, yeah. I think it all starts at your current definition of success. I think that's actually the starting point. Because prior to it right, because prior to having kids, success was very likely very singularly focused. it was focused on your career, generally speaking. And you know, it was the go to a good school.
Tia Graham (02:38.091)
In both worlds.
Rebecca Olson (02:52.739)
Get a good job, work your way up, make good money, and so forth. And then once we have kids, for particularly for you know very career focused, ambitious women, it's not like that drive goes away. But yeah, but your goal your goals are are n are now twofold. It's not just about the career success, it's also about being a great mom and a great parent.
Tia Graham (03:06.134)
No, you're still you're still that human, yeah.
Rebecca Olson (03:19.083)
And when one of those feels like it's failing, both of them feel like they're fail failing, right? So we have to feel like we're we're successful in in both areas of life. Yeah.
Tia Graham (03:26.072)
Wait, I want to pause you right there. When one feels like it's failing, it's like creates a halo. And so you're failing.
Rebecca Olson (03:35.2)
Yeah, in all areas. Because we can't we can't be feeling like we're crushing it at work and sacrificing our kids and feel really good about that. And kind of the and similarly on the other way, like we wanna do well in our job and we wanna do, you know, good by our employers and what we're doing in our career. So if we're going all all into our kids and feel like we're barely given anything at work and at any moment somebody's gonna find out, you know, like we also are gonna feel like we're failing. And so
Really, our version of success changes once we become parents. And a lot of us don't stop and decide how we want to now view success in a multifaceted way. And so that really is the starting point for a lot of the work that I do is let's take a step back for a moment and let's figure out how you were defining success before and what you thought the mechanisms of success were before, which most of the time was like just what put more hours in. That's how a lot of us view success, right?
Tia Graham (04:27.554)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (04:29.487)
And or the mechanism of it. And so that doesn't work for us now. And so now it's all about figuring out what what how do we wanna how do we wanna live by this today? What's our current definition of it? And let's let's figure out where we're in alignment with that or where we're not, ultimately.
Tia Graham (04:46.818)
I love that. And I think what is is also valuable is is taking the time. And I certainly didn't. I was like right back into like, corporate life. I became an entrepreneur also after. And like that was a whole that's a whole different thing because you can always be doing more and you don't have a boss. You're your own boss. So that whole psyche. but it's right.
Rebecca Olson (05:02.703)
Always. Yeah. Yep. You have to like what's enough for today, right? You actually have to put some definition to that to help you feel really good at the end of the day as an entrepreneur.
Tia Graham (05:14.584)
Right. What's enough for today? Yeah, exactly. And so I what I'm hearing though is part of the process is untangling or detaching from society's version of success. Or, you know, of course, there's all social media, there's and cultural and family, there's all of these things that we have as ideals that is success, and and it's really saying
Rebecca Olson (05:28.066)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (05:38.923)
Mm-hmm.
Tia Graham (05:43.725)
What is it for you? and is it also because I'm I research and talk and write and speak on happiness, is it also in your in your process and your experience, in addition to what do I want success to be? Is it also about what's gonna help my well-being, what's gonna help me be happy at, you know, with these two big areas of my life?
Rebecca Olson (06:09.903)
I mean, certainly that can come into it. I mean, I think a definition can look like all sorts of things when we when we kind of boil it down to like a sentence or two, which is what I try to help my clients get down to. I mean, for me, success, that's much more holistic way of looking at it, is that I am making decisions that feel aligned with my values, goals, and priorities. That's it. So that I would say that I would say that at work, I would say that at home, it kind of encompasses everything. And so it's not like a
Tia Graham (06:38.2)
Values, goals, and priorities.
Rebecca Olson (06:40.555)
Yeah, which there's a lot of crossover between those those things, but but ultimately that's if I am living intentionally by those things, which means one, I know what they are, two, they're conscious enough that I think about them on a somewhat regular basis, and three, they're part of my active decision-making matrix, so that things ladder up to them, like that's that's how I know I'm gonna be living into that. And so
For for me, there of course there's a wellness element of that. There is an it that usually falls into the priorities element, is thinking through what my priorities are, longevity of life on some levels a priority to me, you know, really being able to be around and active with my grandbaby, should those ever happen. That's important to me.
And so yeah, my decisions today should be laddering up to some of those priorities. That's how I know that I'm I'm liv I can get to the end of my life and look back and say, Yeah, I did it all the way I wanted to. I I feel successful. I feel good about all of my choices.
Tia Graham (07:42.799)
And for a woman who has been an high achiever driven type A perfectionist, et cetera, how do you right same? Are you also the I was talking to someone earlier, I also an eldest daughter, so there's like all that too.
Rebecca Olson (07:55.982)
Mm-hmm. Yes, all those things I am.
Rebecca Olson (08:06.366)
mm.
Tia Graham (08:10.03)
I think, and this is my experience as well. I think for people like me, us, it can be hard and challenging to I don't know if bring down is the right word, but change or shift. I was gonna say, like the level of career success. So that's one because guess what? You're not
Rebecca Olson (08:27.417)
Mm.
Expectations.
Rebecca Olson (08:34.479)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Tia Graham (08:39.35)
And if you're like me, like you need sleep, you're not gonna work 60 hours a week because you're going to spend time with your kids. But I want to ask you about how do you it's almost like the level of enoughness potentially comes down, doesn't have to be, but like can. and then on the other part, for someone who maybe had a mom who sp was not driven career or you know has these ideals.
Rebecca Olson (09:06.617)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (09:09.154)
How can they feel at peace and settled with, yeah, I'm not with my child seven hours a day. So talk about both of those.
Rebecca Olson (09:17.262)
Right, right.
Yeah. So the I mean the first one around sort of, you know, maybe downshifting your career a little bit in particularly in the young stages of motherhood. that I mean, that is a choice that many, many women make. Some of them make it because it's what they want, and that's how the the motherhood experience they dreamed of, or they came into motherhood, didn't realize they wanted that, and then all of a sudden that's what they want, and then they they choose that, love that for them. There is also a
Pretty large subgroup of women that choose to do that because childcare cost is really expensive, because it feels like that's the most responsible option, not necessarily because it's desi it comes from a place of desire. and then of course you have the group that doesn't choose to do that at all and chooses to sta you know, stay all in. So there's kind of a range of why someone
Tia Graham (10:09.473)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (10:12.749)
you know, a a woman might choose that. I my my goal is to want to make it a choice for you, right? I want you to feel like you have the choice to live the life that you want to live ultimately at the end of the day, because there isn't a right or wrong to that. But I I certainly don't subscribe to the idea that you have to, right? Like that's we're coming if we're if we're really believing that you don't have to to choose between work and home, then we have we have to sort of ultimately believe that you don't have to downshift your career.
Tia Graham (10:41.262)
Right.
Rebecca Olson (10:42.071)
in order to be a great mom, right? And we kind of know we know that on some level because if we if if you think about a stay-at-home mom that you know, likely you don't believe that they are a better mom than every other working mom that you know either. But are you believing sort of that because they're a stay-at-home mom that they're better? Like where's the there's oftentimes the judgment with the mom that spends more time with their kids is actually quote better mom. Right.
Tia Graham (10:57.805)
Right.
Tia Graham (11:04.451)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (11:07.81)
More time equals better, Mom.
Rebecca Olson (11:10.841)
But we also have to translate that into work. More time working doesn't actually make you a better employee. It doesn't make you it doesn't actually make you more successful. Correct. Now we do have a society that tends to reward overworking, that tends to promote those that work, quote, the hardest, which usually means the most. so we have some societal things that have to shift.
Tia Graham (11:17.506)
Hm, yes, yes. True, but like hours don't equal results.
Tia Graham (11:28.036)
yeah.
Tia Graham (11:34.135)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (11:37.592)
within that, but ultimately with if you have a once you come up with your definition of success, the the question now is how how do you make that happen in the time that you have? Like let's assume that it's possible and let's work our way backwards from that. That's that just becomes the problem to solve for instead of
instead of believing, well, that I can't attain that unless I pull back over here. That's my only option. If that's if you believe that's your only option, then that's gonna be your only option, versus saying, no, no, there has to be some equation here that works where I get to have both in the way that I want within the the version of success that I want. So how do I make that happen? What what would have to happen? And that when we force ourselves to think within containers like that, we come up with a lot of different
ideas, you know, I I usually will pose those types of questions to my clients and I'll hear, well, I mean, I think I would have to, you know, just be a lot more ruthless with with my time. Yes you would. Wouldn't you? Tell me more about what you'd have to do with your time. I know. It's like, okay. So now let's talk about all the hard things you're actually not doing in order to live into the version of success that that you want because that's gonna be your mechanism forward. That's the s
Tia Graham (12:40.034)
Don't go to the don't go to the annoying meetings where there's no value or
Rebecca Olson (12:55.703)
success mechanism instead of believing more time is your only success mechanism.
Tia Graham (13:02.422)
It's so, it's so valuable. And and you know, a part of this conditioning, and I'm thinking, and the cultural is our belief and connection to just time itself. Right? It's like, and of course, you could have a stay at home mom or a working mom who is with their children yet is causing a ton of harm. Or you know what I mean? Like, it's like, why is time this golden
Rebecca Olson (13:15.287)
Yeah, I know. It's crazy, huh?
Rebecca Olson (13:26.649)
Yeah. Yeah.
No.
Tia Graham (13:31.107)
thing where it's where of course we know and I'm sure that that a lot of your that a lot of your clients would agree with like what what I'm saying is I became a flipping ninja at work when I had my first kid and then when that second kid came along I was like and I was worried like my god I'm working so much less because I was leading a sales and marketing team like god it's you know I have to leave at five or before I you know I worked in hotels so you would work all the time
Rebecca Olson (13:46.115)
Yes, of course you did.
Rebecca Olson (13:57.646)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (14:02.166)
The best results, the mo you know, because I was like, any little thing that didn't add a ton of value, I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like we don't have time. I'm I'm here from eight thirty to five and we are gonna like rock it.
Rebecca Olson (14:13.837)
Yep. It's not my value. It's not my priority. It's not my goal. I'm not doing it.
Tia Graham (14:18.05)
Right, and it's not gonna make a huge impact, like no. Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (14:21.121)
No. Yeah. And that that doesn't feel good. I I mean, I'm just honest. Like that that's what's hard about it is it just doesn't feel good to say no. It doesn't feel good to deprioritize something that's important to someone else. It doesn't feel good to sort of delegate something onto someone else that you know is feeling overwhelmed. It doesn't feel good to to say no to a good thing. You know, that's like something that you also really want, but this other thing is just a little bit more like that.
I mean that it just doesn't feel good. I I usually use the word like ruthless with my clients. It feels ruthless sometimes, at least in the beginning it does, because because you yeah, you're doing a really hard thing. And it's in when you're choosing to go all in to one thing or one kind of version of success based on what you want and say no to other versions of success, people have opinions about that. Society has opinions about that. Your kids might have opinions about that. And
It's that's that's what ultimately is what it is required, is required to overcome that, right? Like that in order to really achieve that level of success that you want, it is gonna be saying no to a lot of things that are good and learning how to kind of overcome or manage yourself through those feelings of of of like sadness, disappointment, you know, like that's really what it's all about at the end of the day.
Tia Graham (15:48.417)
gosh Rebecca is so valuable it's like you need to you need to know and I wish I met you 12 years ago you need to know that that this that this is going to have discomfort that this right it's not because you have these two two roles that are very important in both ways and that could fill your whole day
Rebecca Olson (16:04.623)
Hmm. Yeah.
Tia Graham (16:16.238)
There's many people that fill their whole days with both. And you are, but I like that you use the word ruthless. And it's also about knowing all the time you're gonna be judged, whether it's like I was judged by family members. I grew up in Canada, right? Like everyone in Canada spends a year with their baby. But I was in LA. I went back to work after, you know, it was it was maturity went back and like the judgment and the and I lived with that, right?
Rebecca Olson (16:36.237)
Year, I know.
Rebecca Olson (16:45.133)
Yeah. Yeah. Which we which comes back to like your second question around maybe you had a stay-at-home mom or or maybe or maybe you grew up in Canada where they spend a a year with their kid before going back to work. And then I think they even have the option of going longer for unpaid, if I remember, or something like that. Like it's wild in comparison. Whole nother conversation we can have about about parental leave, but but you know, how do you handle
Tia Graham (16:45.474)
So yeah, n yeah, knowing that.
Tia Graham (17:03.564)
It's like Europe. Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (17:11.753)
some of that disconnect between those things and the guilt and, you know, in this case, like maybe the opposite of guilt to your point would be maybe peace with it. And I I think that it really does always come back come back down to what you've decided for yourself is your priorities or your values or your goals or your version of success, right? It's not somebody else's. And
Tia Graham (17:16.3)
Let's talk about that. Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (17:39.458)
I have these conversations with clients a lot that, you know, it's it can be hard to unravel some of that upbringing that that we were that we were raised with and not seeing that as sort of the gold standard. And and having to kind of detangle from that and say, Yeah, but is that what you want? Is that your life that you want to live by? And if the answer is yes, then let's have a whole nother conversation about shifting out of your career and like doing whatever you want to do, because of course that's
Potentially could be an option for you. But if the answer is no, you can never really see yourself doing that, but you still feel guilty. Let's, I mean, let's really double down on why you want the version of the life that you're living and what matters to you and what you're instilling in your kids by doing that. I mean, there's so much research that really talks about how there there is not much difference in terms of being raised by a stay-at-home mom versus a working mom. And
And but there is research that shows particularly women, daughters that were raised by working moms are more likely to go into careers, go further into their career and make more money than the generation before them. I mean, there's so much we could look at statistics, we can look at anecdotes, we can look at all sorts of things, right? That that support your decision. And that at the end of the day, that's that's what we
We don't want to live with regret. We want to feel good and peaceful about the decisions that we're making. And so we have to do that in a really conscious way and make sure we're spending more time supporting the reasons why we're doing what we're doing and why we want what we want, instead of sort of poking holes in how what we're doing is wrong or could be wrong or questioning. And yeah. It's just about giving it more airtime in your head at the end of the day, really. Just spending more time supporting yourself. Yeah.
Tia Graham (19:09.346)
Yes, yeah.
Tia Graham (19:23.884)
Always like questioning, self doubt. Yeah.
Tia Graham (19:30.947)
Yeah, it's w where you focus. Yeah. I I remember one of my therapists asking me because I was dealing with I was feeling a lot of working mom guilt for many different reasons. And and I have a a challenging child when she was seven, she was diagnosed with a rare disability. So in hindsight, like that you know, a lot of different things that also contributed that was like, no wonder I was feeling a little bit more, etc. but
You know, I was telling her I was describing the pain I was feeling, basically like guilt and sadness of not being there all the time, right? And and talking about that. And she was like, okay, great. And she said, okay, close your eyes. Tell me how you would feel if you didn't work. Like, I want to know what would that be like for you if you were a stay at home mom, full time, right? And I was like, my God, it would be horrible.
Like I love working. It fills my soul. I love learning. I love helping people. I love cheap. Like I've always loved her. I've always loved school. And I just like went on and on. And and I was and I was saying like I would feel so resentful to my husband that he would get to work and I did it. And and you know, she was like, okay, great. So there's like like you were saying, the uncomfort. It was like I realized like, okay, there's painful emotions, there's challenges with both.
Rebecca Olson (20:35.321)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (20:56.473)
Yeah. Yeah.
Tia Graham (20:57.246)
Yet this is who I am and and and and I need my soul and I and I know I'm a happier mom being a working mom. That's me.
Rebecca Olson (21:05.697)
Mm. Yeah. No question. No question. I don't know what the heck I would do with myself. I mean, I'll never I'll never forget when I felt so bad sending my daughter to daycare. I remember in that first year-ish of sending her. I went back to work after about four and a half months, which is a little bit longer than average two. but I felt so bad about it, so guilty about it, just feeling like I was
Tia Graham (21:11.318)
Ha ha
Rebecca Olson (21:33.9)
my somebody else was raising my kid, like literally spending way more of her waking life than I was with her. And how can I do this? And I worked like an hour away. So the commute added to this. There was a whole thing going on. And I'll never remember this moment when she, I think I was like changing her diaper and she like started going through animal sounds. Like she literally mooed at me or something. And I was like, I didn't know you could do that. And I went to my husband and I'm like, did you know that she could moo?
He was like, no, I didn't know. And then of course she wouldn't do it for us at that time, right? But it really just dawned on me. She was getting all of this experience at daycare with two beautiful humans that were watching her. And I felt really good about their care that was way more qualified to like watch to to watch her, to raise her, to teach her things in the ways that they were, right? Not obviously replacing me as a mom, but then I would.
Tia Graham (22:15.566)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (22:29.027)
Right.
Rebecca Olson (22:30.177)
ever have done if she had been home with me. Like I would have been so lost. And literally like in a moment, the guilt like melted away because I felt so good about taking her there. Like she was she was with good people that were teaching her things that knew early childhood development that were that were having a good influence on her. That were like I just all of a sudden it was it was like a literal light bulb of a shift in the way I pr the perspective I I had of it immediately changed everything.
Tia Graham (22:46.53)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (22:56.803)
Yeah.
I love that. I had a similar, we've always had, we don't have any family, and we've always had full-time nanny supporting my husband and I. And I remember the our first nanny coming in and like the like she was like, no, you're not like you don't swaddle like this. Like, here's how you swaddle her. And she was like, the socks do this, and they helped. And like, and I was like, my god, teach me everything. Like, what? Like, cause she had been taking care of children, and I was like, beer and headlights, like, I have no idea what to do.
Rebecca Olson (23:21.295)
Yes, obviously. Yeah, yeah.
Tia Graham (23:27.788)
That yeah, that like shift of you know, and there's all this conversation around the village and your village and women and families throughout time. If you think about indigenous cultures and like it's never just like this one singular human raising, right? And no, never, except like we might we've never had like grandmas in our in our neighborhood or so it's like and and one of my friends.
Rebecca Olson (23:46.573)
Right, right. Never, never.
Rebecca Olson (23:54.96)
And of course, if you were like in a village like that where you were literally like living together-ish, like communally, other women would be over like showing you how to swaddle your baby and how to do that and know you were doing that wrong and try this and like this is going to help. And all of the things that they would be doing it with you were so isolated now and individualistic and yeah, less community oriented that we've lost a lot of that kind of experience and we
Tia Graham (23:59.138)
In a bu Yeah, like you
Tia Graham (24:05.462)
Exactly. And giving you a break.
Tia Graham (24:22.018)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (24:23.693)
Ha again, we come back to the feminist movement. We're so we have we have been now conditioned to believe we're supposed to be so more independent that do it all ourselves, as women in particular, that we don't ask for the help or we feel guilty when we have to, or you know, it's we're less than if we can't, all of that that kind of thinking that that gets in the way of us being able to live a life where we don't regret and we feel amazing about the choices that we're making every day.
Tia Graham (24:31.992)
Do it all.
Tia Graham (24:39.916)
Right.
Tia Graham (24:53.644)
Yes, yes, I love it. one of my friends who is the working mom, you know, she said, I always felt like these are more because I she never really had guilt and she had a nanny too. And I was like, how come you didn't have guilt? Like I had so much guilt. And she was like, I just thought like this this is another person who loves my child, like, you know, kind of bat. And was like, okay, that would have been a useful thought too. I could have used that.
Rebecca Olson (25:14.191)
Mm.
Rebecca Olson (25:17.851)
no. I l I like to think about it like this is like my framing when it comes to things like this. I think about it like a a a flashlight and a floodlight. Okay. So our brain operates more like a flashlight. Like that's its design, is to be a flashlight. Pick one perspective, focus on it, and that's what it is, right? And it's not until we have these moments, whether it's from other people or I had, you know, my my daughter mood or whatever that
A floodlight opens up and I realize that there's actually like 10 perspectives I could have of the same exact situation in the same exact circumstance. None of them are wrong and none of them are right. Some of them make me feel amazing and some of them make me absolutely feel terrible. And so it's my job to recognize that my brain likes to hyperfocus in a very singular way, usually on a very negative perspective of something. And my job is to open up the floodlight to all of the other perspectives that.
Tia Graham (26:09.646)
Does our brains have negative D.
Rebecca Olson (26:13.999)
could be there, that are there, and decide which one is more in alignment with my choices and my values and my goals and my priorities and choose that one. That's my job.
Tia Graham (26:27.254)
That's that's useful. Yeah. And and slowing down enough to to notice, this is my perspective. It's not reality. It's like you said, there's 10 and there could be 25, 25 different ones.
Rebecca Olson (26:34.969)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (26:41.187)
Which is like the beauty of coaching, you know, obviously, because a coach is gonna help infuse like show you those other perspectives and remind you that you have a very singular focus here and there's so many other ways you could view this and help you to find that, right? Like a thinking partner of some kind, whether that's a coach or your partner or friend or whatever, like somebody else needs to help you with that.
Tia Graham (26:51.894)
Right. To have that thinking partner.
Tia Graham (26:58.722)
Yes. Not just not just you looking at yeah, looking at your reality. last question is, how do you plan your weeks or plan your months? So let's I'm assuming that you, the person has their their priorities and their values and they're clear. This is how I want to live so that I am happy and well, and so that I feel successful with my def definition of success.
How do you, Rebecca, plan your weeks, or I don't know if you plan it a month at a time, but what's your process?
Rebecca Olson (27:33.071)
Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
whether it's a good or bad thing, I don't really know. I don't have I don't have a set process doing that. I I and I think that's probably because I'm in a fairly good rhythm with it on how I kind of manage my time and so forth. I I think there are some things that like land in my calendar that are I schedule ahead of time so I make sure that they happen. That could be anything from like I play Ultimate Frisbee.
Tia Graham (27:44.183)
Okay.
Tia Graham (27:48.408)
Yeah.
Rebecca Olson (28:04.589)
So my ultimate Frisbee games go in the calendar or other types of activities or volunteer. I volunteer my church, I sing, like those kinds of things go in my calendar, they're unmovable, I'm gonna go to them no matter what, right? And so they become the priority. But I also have I've learned over time that for example, I can't be away from my I can't be away from bedtime usually mul multiple days in a row. It's
my kids don't like it, I don't like it. It I find like one of my priorities that I've decided as a parent, like one of those key times is bedtime. I spend a lot of time with them. I read with them. I talk with them. They ask me weird questions. You know, it is the time that that really fulfills me as a parent. And I know that at the end of the day they're gonna remember that mom's sat with them. And so I'm sort of aware of that. Not that I don't choose to be away. I just don't choose to often be away for multiple days at a time.
because of the impact that that has. And so I I have gotten so clear on where some my yes is on many things that those just become the things that you put in I put into my kind of schedule, whether it's literally or like just in my mind, I know what they are. And then I protect those. And they become unmovable. And I say I say no to many an opportunity because of that. And that's okay. I mean that's okay because it's ruthless and I'm living the life that I want to live.
Tia Graham (29:09.102)
Mm-hmm.
Tia Graham (29:24.098)
Yeah, yeah.
Rebecca Olson (29:30.605)
And so that's I it always starts with kind of calendaring or prioritizing first, dropping that in and then working your way around it on some form or fashion, you know, depending on how that works for you and, you know, for me different seasons.
Tia Graham (29:41.582)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah. And since I always care and just one of my you know purpose and passions is is happiness and well-being, I wanna also say that it's very easy as an ambitious working mom with young kids to have your whole calendar filled up with work and kids and then you sleep, right? And so I love that you you talked about Frisbee that you talked about, you know, volunteering.
Rebecca Olson (30:07.277)
Yeah. Yep.
Tia Graham (30:14.124)
Because also, I know a lot of working moms that I've talked to and worked with is there is guilt with that, because they're like, I should be working or I should be with my kids. And yet I'm like, no, you need to prioritize your happiness and well being. Like you need to do yoga, go for a walk, go out with girlfriends, do date night, read a book. Like, what are the things that make you feel good? Because you're, you know.
Rebecca Olson (30:27.961)
Right. Yeah.
Tia Graham (30:41.9)
Back to we'll go come back to where we started on time, right? You could you could be feeling like not healthy and drained and kind of negative and you're with your kids for two hours, or you've taken 40, 30 minutes for yourself and you're with your kid and you're like joyful and upbeat because you actually are taking care of yourself. And and I wanna give everyone permission, like you do that.
Rebecca Olson (31:00.591)
Sorely.
Tia Graham (31:06.35)
It it doesn't mean because you are ambitious or working that you can't do that. It's not like, I've already taken the time for myself. So thank you for sharing about your Frisbean church.
Rebecca Olson (31:11.597)
Yeah. Yep. Yep. No. No, yeah, no question. I I think I teach around four key priorities that that create sort of a foundation of a of a balanced life. And one of them is me time. You have you have to schedule that in. And I quantify me time as time that you walk away from that and your your bucket feels filled again, right? Not your box feels checked, which is different. So that
Tia Graham (31:26.508)
Yeah, yeah.
Tia Graham (31:38.562)
Right. Yes, that's a good distinction.
Rebecca Olson (31:40.695)
Which is why I would even put it for a lot of people, it's different than your workout or it's different than you know, the closet that you just cleaned out that you've been thinking about cleaning out. And it feels so good to clean it. I know it does, but it feels more like a checkbox than it does like an energy booster, excitement. Yeah, exactly. So so, so important that we all have those times. And that could look I don't prescribe to a one way to do that. Could you know, maybe you're somebody that needs fifteen minutes a day, maybe you're just somebody that needs once a week, or maybe you need
Tia Graham (31:49.678)
I've checked them up.
Tia Graham (31:54.198)
Yeah. Like dinner with a girlfriend. Yes, yes.
Rebecca Olson (32:09.923)
You know, a full day a a a month. I it doesn't really matter. You get to decide for you. But they're definitely I could if I don't see in your calendar time like that in there protected, then I I know that your rhythms are not going to be sustainable.
Tia Graham (32:24.652)
Yeah, you don't have to be sustainable. Rebecca, where can people find out about you and learn more about your coaching and your work?
Rebecca Olson (32:33.931)
Yeah, so we're already listening to a podcast here. So you can hop on over to mine, which is Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms. You can find that wherever you listen to podcasts. It's a great way to hear more strategies and get more support around specifically sustainable work-life balance and being a very career-driven, career-driven mom and wanting to be a great parent. That's what it's all about. Not having to choose. So
It's probably the easiest way, but I'm also really active on LinkedIn. I would love to say hi, make a connection to me on LinkedIn. You'll find me there, both under the the my name, under my podcast, all of the things. and you can get my newsletter there. It's probably the easiest way.
Tia Graham (33:14.008)
Perfect. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Rebecca Olson (33:17.752)
my gosh, such a delight. Thank you for having me.