Podcast Episode #16
How to Manage Work Travel Without Guilt: 2 Essential Mindset Shifts
Work travel can hit working moms with a specific kind of guilt, even when the opportunity is good. The anxiety usually sounds like, “Am I missing too much?” or “Does this make me selfish?” and it often comes from how motherhood is judged differently than fatherhood. The truth is, guilt is usually proof you care deeply, not proof you’re doing something wrong.
Two mindset shifts can change the entire experience. First, reframe the story: instead of “I’m leaving my kids,” try “I’m modeling ambition, courage, and providing for our family,” and ask yourself what bigger lesson your child is learning by watching you pursue meaningful work. Second, ritualize connection: create small repeatable anchors before, during, and after trips, like a special breakfast before you go, a quick daily FaceTime, and a simple welcome-home tradition. Those rituals reduce guilt because they replace uncertainty with closeness and consistency.
HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1️⃣ Guilt often means you care.
2️⃣ Reframe the story you tell.
3️⃣ Use rituals to stay close.
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“I can love my kids fiercely and I can love my work deeply.”
Full Transcript
Tia Graham (00:03.576)
Hey, beautiful working mom, welcome back to the Feel Good Club podcast, the place where ambitious working moms like you get permission to thrive and not just survive. I am so glad that you are here today. You love your kids deeply and you are really passionate about your career. I am too. And both can coexist.
some days and months and even seasons, it can be really messy and really hard. And sometimes you are in a great rhythm and things are working smoothly. Today, we're gonna talk about something that every working mom who travels has felt at some point or like me, a lot.
the wave of guilt and anxiety that you feel when you are thinking about your upcoming work trip and being away from your kids and when you are packing your suitcase, getting ready to go. Have you ever found yourself tearing up while leaving for a work trip? Even though you know it's an amazing opportunity for you,
And you are super excited about this trip. I remember feeling so much anxiety, tightness in my chest and worry for weeks leading up to a trip. And I can picture on multiple occasions crying as the Uber drives away from my house on the way to the airport to one of my many, many work trips over the past 11 years.
There's that knot in your stomach that whispers. You're gonna be missing moments that you'll never get back. Are you a good enough mom for doing this and for choosing this? Even though you're doing what's right for your career and probably what's right for your wellbeing because if you're ambitious, work can fill you up in a lot of ways.
Tia Graham (02:27.138)
By the end of this episode, you're gonna have two practical mindset shifting tools to ease the guilt and to feel more confident and proud instead of sad and torn.
So as I said before this work trip, in addition to feeling anxiety and guilt, you're also feeling self doubt, stressed, overwhelmed, and fear of regret. You might be over preparing your kids before you go, spilling your anxiety from your body onto them. I certainly did that. Feeling maybe distracted when you're away.
and overcompensating when you get back. And all of these steal your joy, dim your confidence, and make it hard for you to fully show up and be present and joyful and happy, both in your career and with your kids.
What I want you to do is to reframe guilt and anxiety as these really negative emotions and these indicators that you are doing something really bad because you're going on a work trip or because you travel for work. And I want you to reframe them as signs of deep love and care and of responsibility, not of weakness.
These feelings mean that you care so much. They show that your heart is really invested. It speaks to the connection that you have and that you want to have with your children. Every devoted mom traveling for work feels this push pull. You are not broken at all. You
Tia Graham (04:34.442)
are a human being that is feeling things that are congruent to your experience. We celebrate dads who travel for work. We call them successful, right? But moms, society labels them as selfish. We get judged maybe externally or maybe silently. And we also are bombarded with messaging from
stay-at-home moms or moms who never travel, which makes us question ourselves. Dads do not receive that. And instead of fighting the guilt, if you listen to it, not as a critic, but as a messenger telling you what matters most, how does that shift for you?
Tia Graham (05:27.146)
I remember when we were living in our house in Westwood, Los Angeles, and I had booked a leadership program for a group of leaders for a school district in Northern California. And I had to travel on Sunday, was going to stay overnight, and then leave the program on Monday, and then come back Monday night.
leading up to it, I was questioning, gosh, had I said yes to this, even though every single time that I was making deals and I'm a sales and marketing person, right, and I love what I do, I love my work, so, so excited, and I didn't even hesitate to say yes when this school district wanted to hire me to come teach the science of happiness to their leaders. Yet,
During that Sunday where I am packing up and I can picture my husband and daughters playing on the front lawn and I'm in the house getting ready and my brain was flooded with thoughts like, should I have done this? This is wrong, I'm leaving on a Sunday. I should never miss a weekend day. Weekend days are family days.
how come I made this decision, et cetera. And I'm so excited for the work, but my heart is so heavy about leaving my two girls. And I remember my daughter saying, bye mom, don't be gone mom, we're gonna miss you. And then instant pangs of guilt. And.
while I'm traveling to Northern California, as I'm preparing, there's this cloud of questioning, of uncertainty, of self-doubt, you know, and I FaceTime them when I get there, and I'm scrolling through pictures of them, and I'm only gonna be gone one night. And I gave an incredible program.
Tia Graham (07:46.72)
I can picture the group photo that we took after the program and the superintendent just thanking me so much for the experience and the stories and the laughter and the teachings and the engagement and the connection and my body and my soul is filled up in a way that parenting just doesn't necessarily give me. And I realized that both can be true.
I can love my kids fiercely and I can love my work deeply. And this realization and this truth is the same for you. So I want you to use this very simple framework if you are struggling with work travel, guilt, shame, anxiety, fear of regret.
overwhelm, stress, et cetera. Number one is reframe the story. Okay? So this is using a positive psychology principle, shifting focus from I'm abandoning them, I'm leaving them to I'm modeling growth, I'm modeling courage, and changing guilt to gratitude.
I get to show my kids what it looks like to love my work and to take brave steps and to go after my dreams. And here's some micro questions that you can use to reframe your thinking. Number one, what bigger lesson am I teaching my kids by following through with this work trip, with this opportunity? And number two, how can I bring presence
to them before and after my trip. All right, so you're gonna reframe this story that you're telling to yourself. And number two is ritualize connection. Create simple pre and post trip rituals to strengthen emotional connection and this is gonna reduce your guilt. So maybe you leave little notes on their bed. I do this often before you go on a trip.
Tia Graham (10:17.14)
And during the trip, you have times where you FaceTime every single day and you're doing this joy check-in, right? And when you come home from the trip, maybe there is a pancake morning or maybe you do one-on-one with them each 30 minutes and you really get this connection time. And these rituals build security for kids and they're gonna soothe you by replacing anxiety with intentional connection.
So the two Rs are reframe the story and ritualize connection. The real challenge that you face isn't leaving your kids for a work trip. It's learning to leave without losing your peace. And so much about the Feel Good Club show and about
The seven pillars for the members within my feel good club membership is about increasing inner peace. When we redefine what good motherhood looks like, we free ourselves from guilt and show our children what self belief looks like in action. And don't you want your kids to go after their dreams? I certainly do.
If today's conversation hit home, if you're ready to show up for your work and your motherhood with more calm, confidence and joy and inner peace, I'd love to invite you to a free coaching call with me. In this private call, we're going to unpack what's going on in your present life. What's guilt and unhappiness.
and create a personalized plan to help you feel grounded and proud with motherhood and your career. And you'll leave the call with actionable steps based on the signs of happiness that you can take right away. And I'll also share with you about the Feel Good Club membership. You can book it at tiagram.com forward slash free call. That's tiagram.com forward slash.
Tia Graham (12:41.036)
discovery call, I'm sorry. I'd love to connect with you one-on-one and walk beside you in this journey. And remember, prioritize your wellbeing, choose happiness, and make choices to sustain your happiness. See you on the next episode.