Do You Resent Your Spouse?

Do you feel resentment towards your spouse because you handle more of the mental, emotional and physical load, than he/she does?

You had a fantastic career pre-kids, and you still do, and so does your spouse. You feel resentment because in addition to your career, you are doing so much more. Your spouse is also doing other things, but overall there is an imbalance it's affecting you. It's affecting your relationship and your well being.

My husband has been working consistently from 9am to 5pm Monday through Friday, some days more. Pre-kids, and when my kids were young, I had to be in the office, leading my sales team from 8:30 am to 5pm. I became an entrepreneur and started working from home with more flexibility. I was now working less hours and carrying more of the physical, mental, and emotional load. The resentment in me is building and building. Can you relate to this story? It feels unfair and research shows that resentment can be a motivation for self protection. It's also an indicator that your boundaries are being pushed, but it also can be really harmful. You may be arguing more, be less joyful, and your kids watch and know everything that is going on.

Here are two choices you can make if you feel resentment:

1) Practice Gratitude - For what you do have including the time that you have with the kids, that you get to exercise, appreciating what you're doing with your career, appreciating that you have a spouse or partner, right? Have a regular gratitude practice and a mindset of appreciation.

2) Set Boundaries With Your Spouse - Get clear on how you feel and what you need, and take time on a regular basis to communicate and that you want to decrease this feeling of resentment together. You want to solve this as a team, planning together, and you want to feel more in control.

I've been with my husband for 17 years. We have two kids, one who's on the autism spectrum, and we're both high achieving career people. We both want to feel happy, productive, connected, and aligned.

If have you experienced resentment towards your spouse, what advice would you add?

You are enough.
Your kids love you so much.
Choose to feel good.

Tia