Episode #7 - Paige Connell
Carrying the invisible load alone isn’t sustainable. Learn how to make it visible and share it more fairly at home.
Here’s how.
In a recent podcast, Tia Graham and guest Paige explored how mothers can manage the mental and emotional labor that often goes unnoticed in family life.
Understanding the Problem
Many women enter motherhood without understanding the "invisible load"—the mental burden of planning, organizing, and remembering tasks beyond just doing them. Paige discovered this during the COVID pandemic, initially feeling anger toward her partner before recognizing that broader societal systems create these dynamics. Without language to describe these experiences, many mothers feel isolated and resentful.
Practical Solutions
Identify your feelings: Talk with trusted friends or therapists to clarify emotions around burnout and resentment. Keep a journal or spreadsheet tracking mental tasks to validate the extent of your invisible labor.
Make it visible: Paige used an Excel spreadsheet to document both completed tasks and time spent thinking about them. When her partner saw the full scope, it sparked productive conversations about sharing responsibilities.
Communicate as a team: Set aside dedicated time for open discussions with your partner. Approach conversations as teammates working toward shared goals rather than adversaries, which creates more equitable partnerships.
HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1️⃣ The invisible load includes mental tasks, not just physical ones - recognizing and articulating these feelings is the first step to addressing them.
2️⃣ Make mental labor visible through tracking - journaling or spreadsheets help you and your partner understand the true extent of responsibilities.
3️⃣ Focus on shared goals and partnership rather than blame to create balance in family life.
NOT ALL ON ME TOOLKIT
Grab the FREE NOT ALL ON ME TOOL KIT
This free resource will help you finally make your home life happier and more balanced.
Get the Free NOT ALL ON ME TOOLKIT
“Use this as an opportunity to change these dynamics, hopefully not just for ourselves but for our kids.”
Guest Appearing in this Episode
Paige Connell
Paige Connell is a working mom of four and the creator behind She is a Paige Turner, where she sheds light on the mental load of motherhood and what it really takes to keep a family running. She’s also a speaker on gender equity and the urgent need for affordable childcare and paid family leave, bringing both research-backed insight and real-life experience to the conversation. Through her content and community, Paige helps moms put language to invisible labor and navigate more fair, supportive partnerships at home and at work.