Prioritizing Self Care and Sibling Closeness
You can protect your mental health while still building a strong family bond.
Here’s how.
In this episode, Natasha D’Anna shares what shifted for her when she became a mom: instead of reshaping her entire identity around motherhood, she focused on building a lifestyle that could include her children while still honoring who she is. She talks about taking things day by day, tuning out the outside noise, and creating a quiet space to check in with what she actually needs, because that mental clarity is what keeps a mom steady.
As a twin mom, Natasha is especially passionate about protecting sibling connection. She explains why she leaned toward bonding over separation, encouraging shared experiences, teamwork, and letting her kids work through conflict with support instead of constant intervention. She also gets real about the pressure to do everything yourself, and why learning to delegate is part of staying balanced as both a parent and a working woman.
HERE ARE THE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
1️⃣ Quiet time protects your mental health.
2️⃣ Shared moments build sibling bonds.
3️⃣ Delegation prevents burnout.
THE OVERCOMING MOM GUILT TOOLKIT
Grab the FREE THE OVERCOMING MOM GUILT TOOLKIT
This free resource will help you finally make your home life happier and more balanced.
Get the Free THE OVERCOMING MOM GUILT TOOLKIT
“You don’t have time to sit still. You have to keep going”
Guest Appearing in this Episode
Natasha D'Anna
Natasha D’Anna is the creator behind Twindollicious, where she shares family lifestyle content inspired by raising bonded, fashionable twins. She writes about everyday parenting life with a focus on connection, fun, and practical lifestyle ideas for families. Her work supports moms who want to build a connected home while still keeping their own identity and sanity intact.
Full Transcript
Tia Graham (00:02.069)
Hi Natasha, welcome to the show.
Natasha D'Anna (00:05.047)
Thank you for having me.
Tia Graham (00:07.618)
I'm glad you're here and I'm excited to meet you in person. I wanna start off by asking, how did your world, your experience, your human experience shift when you became a mom? Because I know you have twins and you have another child as well, but can you think back to the time when it was that switch of becoming a mom and how did that change your experience, your identity? What was that like for you?
Natasha D'Anna (00:34.103)
love that. So I am now a mom for 15 years. So I have to think back a little bit. And how that shifted was, I guess I was prepared mentally. I was a mom that felt like I was ready. And I prepared myself in a way of thinking about the lifestyle that I wanted to live. That was what I put first. And for the most part, did.
Tia Graham (00:49.187)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (00:59.787)
developed that way where I was introducing them to a life where I was sharing things with them rather than adapting and waiting for them to tell me what to do. And it worked out well for the most part as far as like scheduling and learning all of the things on being a mom. I took it day by day, I have to say. I didn't rush into anything. didn't...
Tia Graham (01:08.942)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (01:24.959)
listen to all of the noise, I think helps a lot of moms stay sane. being on the go, it was a little harder to juggle everything, especially when you're starting out with twins. But I figured it out and became extra strong, I think. But yeah, becoming a mom, it was a shift.
Tia Graham (01:38.541)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (01:47.843)
a little more added to the schedule, a little less taken away. It's like the weird balance. Like you can't do certain things, but you have to do other things. So meeting in the middle did a lot of that.
Tia Graham (01:59.372)
Okay, so it sounds like you were quite prepared and I would say intentional and kind of planning. And you wrote, as we were communicating before scheduling this interview, about the connections in life, and I love everything that follows, connections with community between being a mom as well as
yourself, right? Who you are without being a mom, being a wife, being potentially, you know, having siblings, friends, your connection with your parents, like being a daughter, and then you put also creator of life. So just right there, and people could add in more, it's a lot of different roles, and many, many working moms feel very
Natasha D'Anna (02:45.109)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (02:56.11)
Time famished, very, very time poor. And so what specifically around all of these different connections and parts of life are you really passionate about? do you think that's that, what do you think is really important?
Natasha D'Anna (02:58.27)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (03:14.77)
most important thing. think that this conversation that we're having is so timely because we just had that switch in time, right? And we're talking about time and how we're handling that and all the people that want our attention, which takes up time. So how do I manage and the things that I put first? I think
Tia Graham (03:21.75)
Yes. Yes.
Natasha D'Anna (03:35.952)
We always say we should put ourselves first and that's the best advice anyone can give, but I think the only way we can put ourselves first is if we take time to be quiet and to listen to what we actually want. So I think that's the first thing. think a higher power, a being, reading, whatever that meditation, you know, the thing that helps you sit in silence to listen to what you want, that's what I put first. And then next comes the priority list on who needs what immediately.
And if it's me, you know, like if it's doctor appointment, if I have things on the schedule first, then that's what I'm tackling. And then it goes down list to everyone else because I do have, thankfully, a community of family and friends and things that need to get done in business and work and everything and this lifestyle that we live as women and moms.
Tia Graham (04:26.542)
Well, I love to hear that you prioritize yourself first. So many working moms don't, right? It's they, because of the demands of work and then the demands of house and kids that they aren't always first. So I'm sure that that practice and that ritual of being quiet and connecting and listening, I know I definitely struggled with this.
Natasha D'Anna (04:35.541)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (04:54.998)
especially when my girls were younger, they're now 9-11, when they were younger and I had a really big corporate job and I was leading a team, very sleep deprived, stressed, everything. I always made sure I exercised, but there were a lot of things that, know, and I wasn't, I'm very honest, I was not slowing down enough to listen. It wasn't until I actually hired a coach that helped me.
Natasha D'Anna (05:04.617)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (05:23.288)
that helped me slow down to listen to myself. So I love that you were doing that early on. Something as I was researching for this interview and learning about you, something really, really caught my eye, especially because I have two girls. And so I think a lot about sibling dynamic. What is, so you write about and talk about creating a sibling bonded lifestyle.
Natasha D'Anna (05:50.196)
Yes. So I, because I have twin girls, they're now 15, I guess I started out with that dynamic of having two at the same time.
Tia Graham (05:50.348)
What is this and how come it's so important?
Tia Graham (06:04.066)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (06:04.625)
when you're a mom of a single tennis like this is my one child I'll nourish and do whatever I have to do for them but having to you're like we have two different personalities two different people how do we handle this and immediately when and I'm pretty sure other moms of twins can contest this when there are people who their opinions are separate them and make sure they have different identities and don't dress them up alike
And my background is in behavioral therapy and the biggest thing is connection. You're working with people who have a hard time communicating whether they have children without words. That's the one thing we want to do. We want to hear what they want. We want to nurture them. We want to connect with them. So I felt it was best to connect them rather than separate them. And that's what developed into like a blog to speak on all the key points on that. And then children's books because children need to see things.
that represent them and stories that tell that story of sibling bonding rather than separation because there's so many other things in the world that are probably going to tear them apart. And I think starting at home with the connection is priority. So that's the message that I, you know, I really love to push through.
Tia Graham (07:15.66)
Yeah, and it's really, really, really important. So if there is a working mom listening who feels that their children aren't as bonded and connected as they would like, now, of course, there are sibling dynamics and whether you have twins or different genders and age and, you know, there's so many, every family is unique, of course, all the kids are unique, et cetera.
Natasha D'Anna (07:45.277)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (07:45.411)
But for a working mom listening thinking, would like my kids to be more bonded. I would like them to be more connected. And I would like to have this really be integrated into our life and create this kind of lifestyle. What would you recommend to her, the listening?
Natasha D'Anna (08:01.938)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (08:05.67)
What would I recommend to her? So I'll give a real situation because not every day is wonderful. There are days we're talking about two teen girls. Right? Yeah. Like there are moments when someone went into someone else's closet and didn't ask, right? That's natural, right? I'm pretty sure all sisters can say that the same. But for the most part, I think just finding things that they have in common and embracing the loud chaos, which is what I did in the beginning.
Tia Graham (08:14.181)
Glad to hear it, that not every day in your house.
Tia Graham (08:26.243)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (08:35.084)
Okay, so let me pause. What do you mean embracing the loud chaos?
Natasha D'Anna (08:38.863)
you know, when they're having this silly moment, so they want to be loud and they're making a mess and they're just doing things that we like, we need to quiet the noise for our own sanity, but it's good noise rather than fighting. It's good noise for them. Yeah. Yeah. We have to, yeah, we have to embrace it a little bit because that's their bonding moment. Those are things, those are moments where they are making the memories, where they'll remember. And it's funny, my daughters, when...
Tia Graham (08:52.59)
For them, it's good noise or it's good mess for them. Okay.
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (09:08.557)
their friends, I've heard them say, when these two are together and they're in a mood, it's hard to get in the middle because they start finishing each other's words and everything's funny. And it's the silliness that I feel like we've allowed them to embrace that they can now have in common. And they find things, the same things to be funny and they like to watch the same kind of shows and yeah, it's...
It's a good, like even good competition, right? Like set up board games, games to play around the house or challenges and you don't have to make everyone win at the same time. Let them have that sibling healthy competition. And when, how can I say it? When they are not getting along, you...
How do I handle it? Let me think. When they're not getting along, they understand equally how they're both probably wrong at that moment, right? Because when you're not getting along with someone, it's like, you're probably both a little wrong where you can meet each other in the middle to compromise what happened. And then it... Yeah.
Tia Graham (10:15.426)
Right? Right? Just like marriage, right? When there's conflict, there's always, it's not just one person.
Natasha D'Anna (10:23.109)
Right, right. So it's like, how do we find the middle ground? And then eventually I don't get involved. I just don't. I'm like, figure it out. And then if you do get involved, I found this to be, it's like two minutes later, I'm upset and they're fine. Right. So yeah.
Tia Graham (10:38.99)
Yep, that's relatable. I get involved more than my husband and my... So yeah, this is something for me to work on because I'm trying to make it better, of course. I'm trying to help them and sometimes I do, but I'm sure sometimes I make it worse by just another human involved.
Natasha D'Anna (10:55.951)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, try it one time and just say, figure it out. But like, a serious face, like, figure it out because nine times out of 10, everyone's fine, you know, it's not the end of the world. It's figure it out, separate for a little bit and come back together or find something that the three of you could do together or however many children, you know, are in this situation that we can do together and like, and then it just calms down.
Tia Graham (11:19.436)
Yes, yes.
Tia Graham (11:26.956)
Right? Right.
Natasha D'Anna (11:29.999)
you know, the whole situation or whatever the little problem was that de-escalates. Yeah.
Tia Graham (11:33.785)
Right. So with your, and I know you have a background in therapy and special needs background, and then with your company, there's books, clothing, content, obviously you do collaborations, et cetera. What have you struggled with over the past 15 years in your own experience? Not so much like parenting and things for the kids, but really for you.
as you've been growing your company and raising kids and, and, having, having just this full life. Yeah. What are, what are some of the challenges that you've personally faced in, in doing all these different things? Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (12:07.794)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (12:17.293)
of the things. So my struggle I think is with time, time again. Sometimes I even push if we can just give me four hours when the world is sleeping and I can catch up.
Tia Graham (12:29.826)
Like I wish I didn't have to sleep and yeah. And I will say Natasha, same, same. I always wish, yeah. And for me, it's always wishing I had more time to work. Like I feel like I have enough time with my kids, but I always wish like, God, I would love four hours a day more.
Natasha D'Anna (12:32.305)
Yeah. So that's number one and then number... Yes. Same? Same. That's a good wish,
Natasha D'Anna (12:45.346)
Yes. Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (12:52.729)
Yeah, because sometimes it only takes four hours to get all of those things done. But then it's like the deep root of the four hours that everyone needs everything. Right. And it seems like it takes us a little longer to do everything. So for me, it's number one, the extra hours while everyone's sleeping. I wish I had those. And then also, I tend to want to do everything myself. Like, I want to figure out everything. And you really can't do everything yourself because
We're not experts at everything. I mean, maybe some people are, but I'm not. So that's the whole thing. And it's trusting who to give that job to and how much access, delegating and how much access I should have to something. Because if I can just release it, there's certain things that I can release and not worry about. And then other things I'm like, I release it, but I don't want to release it to that person because they're so far away. Like I have...
Tia Graham (13:35.022)
We're like delegating.
Natasha D'Anna (13:50.656)
a team of three people, but two of them are not here in the United States. So it's like those things I'll keep to myself, but I'm like, no, I should pass them on because I can't do them. And figuring out how to do them is going to take me much longer, you know? it's those things, time and delegation. Yeah.
Tia Graham (14:11.512)
Right, right. One of my mentors says that if someone can do something 80 % as well as you, you should delegate it and that, know, perfect, or sorry, done is better than perfect. Yet, I can relate because when it is your, you know, you have your company, which is yours, and then you also have your personal brand and your name and your reputation and...
Natasha D'Anna (14:21.049)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (14:39.062)
It is different than working in an organization where it's not you. yeah, I think many entrepreneurs, women and men, yeah, that's a common struggle. Coming back to the time piece, are there, what's the right word? Unsupportive, I guess not supportive ways that you talk to yourself.
Natasha D'Anna (14:52.366)
Yeah.
Tia Graham (15:07.552)
around time? Are there things that you say that, and I have some, so I'm curious what yours are and probably other working moms listening too, because it is this very common struggle.
Natasha D'Anna (15:18.573)
Is it that you don't give yourself? It is. I don't give myself enough downtime. How about you?
Tia Graham (15:25.67)
you don't give yourself enough downtime. Yes, yes, I'm that, yes. I think I just say to myself, and I'm getting better and better, but I say to myself just that phrase of like, I don't have enough time, which I don't think is helpful, right? As like a, then it, you know, it's a belief, it like is ingrained in your neural pathways.
Natasha D'Anna (15:27.673)
now.
Natasha D'Anna (15:43.187)
okay. Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (15:53.067)
Yeah, that that's for.
Tia Graham (15:54.841)
but yours is I don't have enough time to rest or I don't have enough time to relax.
Natasha D'Anna (15:59.555)
Well, yeah, I shouldn't be sitting still. That's what I tell myself. you don't have time to sit still. You don't have time to sit still. You have to keep going. that's, yeah. So just as you said that, it's probably the same for me. You saying I don't have enough time, guess what? You're not going to have enough time, and me? You don't have time to sit still, which is why I'm like the Energizer Bunny most of the time, and people say to me, how do you get all these things done? And I'm like, because I don't allow myself to sit down, which.
Tia Graham (16:27.266)
Right, Okay, so I have a great book recommendation because I've been working on this a lot because we are both ambitious, high achieving, we have goals in all areas of life. There's a wonderful book by a Korean monk. I think he lives in the States now, but anyway, it's a great book and it's called The Things You Learn When You Slow Down.
Natasha D'Anna (16:27.544)
Something to work on. You're absolutely right. Something to work on.
Natasha D'Anna (16:38.787)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (16:54.736)
I love that, okay.
Tia Graham (16:55.502)
And it's all these, on every page, there's not a lot of words. So it's not like this intense novel, you know, or like nonfiction. It's a really, really beautiful book. I'll put the link up. But anyway, I come back to that a lot of just how much wisdom and gifts there are in slowing down. So yeah, think that's, I think because we, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, our,
Natasha D'Anna (17:06.254)
Okay.
Natasha D'Anna (17:13.122)
Yeah. Yeah.
Tia Graham (17:25.356)
A lot of our value comes from what we produce, right? There's like this validation and when you sit down and read a book outside or when you go for a walk without your phone or when you, all these things, there's nothing to show for it, right? Like you're not gonna post anything on LinkedIn like, this or.
Natasha D'Anna (17:30.016)
yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (17:47.446)
Yeah
Tia Graham (17:51.599)
whatever, you you're not gonna have a new clothing thing come out or and so it doesn't feel valuable because it's in it's like invisible value. I don't know. What do you think about that?
Natasha D'Anna (17:55.66)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (18:00.736)
as productive. Yeah. I believe what you're saying is true. For many, it's so true. And I think that's where the creator, the creator job comes in because it's like, I can create something out of nothing, right? It's like, if you're always looking for that creative moment, that you turn that into a job as well. And it's not healthy. I'm pretty sure it's absolutely not healthy. You have to turn it off at some times.
And if you're a person that organizes, so I kind of try to make sense of everything. Taking a walk, I would say, is not a valuable time, but it is if you're thinking about the health aspect. Like, I want to live a long, healthy life. So this...
Tia Graham (18:46.314)
Yeah, I think mental health, you know, I study the science of happiness and so there's like the nature benefit, yes, the physical health and then also your like psychological health.
Natasha D'Anna (18:53.164)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (19:01.506)
Yeah, yeah. And just thinking that there's no value to that, it can be bad to think that way. So I'm happy that you said that. And for anyone who is believing that we are just producers and need to find value in everything, yeah, we should reframe that a little bit. I think so, yeah.
Tia Graham (19:18.412)
Yeah, yeah. it's not, of course, this isn't like shame to anyone or, know, it's, you know, we live in a society that values, right? Like on Success Magazine, there isn't like the most successful resting person, right? Nobody's like honoring that person. Like, wow, this person's nervous system is so regulated and they're really calm and they know, you know, no, that's not what, that's not what we get highlighted.
Natasha D'Anna (19:44.141)
Yes, there has to be a plethora of benefactors. Yeah, they need benefactors after that in order for that to be like worth reading, maybe, I don't know. And there's so many hidden benefactors to that. Like, you know, there are benefits to it, but you're right, we don't highlight that as like a successful thing. Yeah, yeah.
Tia Graham (19:53.901)
Right.
Tia Graham (19:58.627)
Yes.
Tia Graham (20:04.142)
as a successful thing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think over the last few years, and I've been working on what you're saying, reading more books, which this feels really uncomfortable to me, and you can relate to this, but I'm trying to just like sit on the couch, which we don't even watch, like sometimes we watch family movies or whatever, but just sitting on the couch and like my daughter's doing something.
Natasha D'Anna (20:33.174)
Yeah. Yeah.
Tia Graham (20:33.326)
I was gonna sit here for a while and always with house and career, there's always so many things that we could, should be doing and a lot more meditating, which I didn't do my whole life. It's really been over the last kind of five, six years and I still don't do it daily, but just I do more of it.
Natasha D'Anna (20:42.678)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (20:48.46)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (21:00.107)
Yeah, well that's good. I mean, it's funny that you said that because in your home, I just noticed the other day that there are certain rooms that we just don't use. And then there are rooms that we live in, like the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure many, that could be like a traditional thing, you know, or just like cultural, like you live in the kitchen, right? But the living room at one point used to be the hub, right? And like the living room, and so many people probably have like immaculate living rooms because no one's.
Tia Graham (21:18.785)
Yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (21:29.918)
it's in it anymore to like sit around. Yeah. So.
Tia Graham (21:30.466)
No one's getting in a, yeah, yeah. No, and you use them more when your kids are younger too, right? Like you're playing in there, you're doing this and as a kid you're more, yeah, more independent. Yeah, yeah, no, I think.
Natasha D'Anna (21:37.834)
Yeah.
where you can like, yeah.
You see them and have access to them. Yes, I remember being in the living room a lot more when they were all smaller.
Tia Graham (21:51.831)
Yes, yeah, that, yeah, creating that, being intentional about creating that space. What would you say to a working mom who is a high achiever in many, many ways and who's a great mom, but is hard on herself? Is, you know, kind of has that loud inner critic, is kind of always questioning, is she doing enough? Is she good enough?
Natasha D'Anna (21:56.588)
Mm-hmm.
Natasha D'Anna (22:20.128)
Yeah. I love that. It makes me sad when I see women who work so hard and do so much, but they're hard on themselves. Because if they only took a minute to realize all of the things that they are doing and the ways that they show up, they would give themselves a break, right? I would just say, I mean,
Tia Graham (22:20.322)
What would be your advice to that working mom?
Natasha D'Anna (22:47.542)
Saying something is different than actually taking action on it. So I like to add like an action piece. Like if you have a heavy load and you think that you're going to have an overwhelming day, I like to plan things out. I like to write everything down. That's just me. Especially if I think it's gonna be an overwhelming week. If I know my week in advance, I'm like, these are all the things I have to get done. maybe something is, I'm going to have to drop the ball somewhere and it's going to happen. And I can't feel bad about it because we're all human, right?
the person or situation where the bull has to be dropped doesn't understand, then it was meant to happen that way. Like sometimes we have to just have faith that things are going the way they're supposed to go. But we, you know, show up, do the things that you're supposed to do, your daily routine, like have a daily routine, but don't make it so like strict where you're hard on yourself. I think that's where it falls. Like I have to do this, I have to do that. Like at this timeframe and...
Some things have to be on a strict stands rule, but if you fall off a little bit, it's okay.
Tia Graham (23:50.371)
Right, so it's almost like planning for there's gonna be things that drop, there's gonna be things that don't go well and not to beat yourself up because that's just how life is as a working mom. I think that's really, really valuable, yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (23:57.448)
Yeah.
You can't. Yeah, you can't. And don't apologize for it either. Like not too much, because too many sorrys, then you start to feel sorry for yourself. Right?
Tia Graham (24:10.988)
Don't apologize for it like, this didn't happen and go, yes, great advice. Natasha, where can people go to find more about you, to learn about your books and clothing and everything and to find your blog? Where's the best place for people to find and follow you and connect with you?
Natasha D'Anna (24:14.79)
Yeah, yeah.
Natasha D'Anna (24:30.023)
So you can find more about me and the lifestyle of Twin Delicious and co at twindelicious.com. And it's a 3D word as a writer. I like juicy words. it's twin, T-W-I-N-D-O-L-L as in doll and ishous, I-C-I-O-U-S.com.
Tia Graham (24:49.56)
Thank you so much for coming on the show and I look forward to meeting you in person.
Natasha D'Anna (24:54.411)
I'm so excited, can't wait to meet you Tia. In person.